I went to the Doctor today to get the final diagnoses. It�s exactly what they said in the hospital last week. I have Large Cell Non-Hodgkin�s Lymphoma- B-Cell Type. The treatment is Chemotherapy and Radiation. I am getting a second opinion from the MD Anderson Clinic in Houston. My Doctor here agreed that would be a good idea. A second set of doctors to look over everything can�t hurt. The treatment right now would be 18-24 weeks of chemo and then 4-5 weeks of Radiation. The Doctor went into great detail about the Chemo and it side effects. They aren�t pretty, but neither is a �cantaloupe� sized tumor around your heart and lungs. It took him over an hour to explain it all to me and he wrote me 4 pages of notes. I�ll type those up later and post them here for you to see. It mostly says that Chemo sucks really bad and it�s going to make me very sick, bald, and sterile. Well okay MAYBE sterile, but there are ways around that these days. So that�s pretty much the bottom line. I�ll post more on the Chemo later. I won't start the Chemo until after MD Aderson has had a chance to review the case. So sometime in the next two weeks.
The Results
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"canteloupe" sized? jesus christ....
any idea as to when the chemo's going to start?
Yeah that might be important to know eh? I updated the entry for ya.
Lex Luthor is totally hot.
My friend conquered Non-Hodgkins. If you're gonna have a cancer, that's the one to have.
sterile as in 'forever'? or sterile as in 'i need to go masturbate in front of the freezer'?
if the latter [well okay, if it's either] here's an appropriate joke:
A man, let's call him oh, i don't know...zero, concerned about the sterility affects of certain treatment regimens he'd be undergoing shortly, opts to drop a few loads at the local sperm bank. Just in Case(tm).
At the sperm bank reception desk, he's asked for his insurance information, identification, and has to fill out several forms of course.
As he's handing in the completed forms, the receptionist remarks that he has excellent insurance business for this sort of procedure, and that an assistant would be calling him in for the donation process in just a few moments. He buzzed into a second waiting room, where several other donors are sitting around sheepishly gawking at porno mags, trying to get worked up enough to provide a sample.
After a few moments, a drop-dead-gorgeous redhead in a short white skirt and lab coat peeks her head in the doorway and beckons zero into yet another room.
As zero enters, she asks him to disrobe and have a seat in a very comfortable looking chair - over which a crisp white sheet has been draped.
As zero sits, the lab technician introduces herself - 'hello Mr. Zero. My name is [what's her name?] and i'll be assisting you with the donation process.'
With that, she places a specimen cup on a small table next to zero's chari, unbuttons her lab coat - under which she's wearing not much at all and kneeling down on a nearby cushion, begins to fellate zero.
Zero is of course shocked by all this. He'd been expecting a small, utilitarian and antiseptic broom-closet sized room in which he might view an erotic video, or flip through the pages of a magazine while he mechanically brought himself to what was likely to be a hugely unsatisfying ejaculation.
Instead, he was being lovingly and expertly fondled and sucked by [what's her name?] the lab tech.
Out of shock and delight, he climaxes quickly and not a little violently, but [what's her name?] is up to the task, and catches every last drop with her mouth, and deftly transfers it all to the specimen cup.
As she's standing up to straighten out her uniform, zero can't help but ask why he got the red-carpet treatment, while the half-dozen or so guys sitting outside in the waiting room were undoubtedly NOT going to be taken care of in quite the same way.
[what's her name?] replies:
'Didn't our receptionist tell you that you had excellent healthcare coverage Mr. Zero? Those other guys are with an HMO.'
-knats
I agree with Bunny. Bald guys are hot!
So much for this being a family blog... =P
Wow. You got porn.
WOW.
sterile? wow, maybe *I* should do chemo!
You know if you get a big gold ear ring you could always make a new hobbie out of crashing Mr. Clean conventions.